Men (Part 2)

For heaven’s sake.

Yesterday I heard banging outside while Livvie was napping. The dogs thought someone was at the door and started their quiet “wuff” barking. Thank goodness they didn’t wake her up. I went outside and Rich was out there. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was kicking plywood because there was a snake in the shed. He then went on to tell me that this snake was at least 5 ft long and was “not a blacksnake” so was probably poisonous. Possibly could even be a copperhead or a cotton mouth. I told him I was going to go look. I was informed I was not.

“That snake is 5 ft long, which means it can strike 5 ft. You’re not going down there.”

“Oh for heaven’s sake, Rich. He’s not gonna bite me.”

Back and forth for about 5 minutes. I was informed that if I was bitten I could lose part of my leg.

So we stood on the deck and peered into the shed while drinking beer. Eventually I saw our little friend come slithering out of the room in the shed that was under construction. He had been nowhere near the plywood that Rich had been kicking.

“There he is, honey. Oh he’s beautiful!”

“Where? I don’t have my glasses on.”

I retrieved Rich’s glasses and he put them on.

“Honey, that snake is nowhere near 5 ft long. He’s 3 at the most.”

“Well it’s still a really big snake.”

I went online and googled our snake. He’s a harmless milksnake.

Rich didn’t believe me.

We continued drinking beer and watched him slither into a corner.

I then informed Rich that since I was the one wearing jeans I was going to go down and take a look at him.

“There is no way I’m letting you go down there first.”

“Honey, let me???!!! I’m not afraid of him”

“I’m not either, I just don’t have time to go to the hospital and possibly lose a day at work.”

Nice to see you care.

So I got my shoes on and ran down to the shed to find Rich already down there poking around at things. Our snake was gone. I’m a bit sad. I would have loved to see him up close. Like in the process of picking him up and throwing him at my husband.