My Addiction

Every January I start ogling the porn sites. This year the itch came early, and I found myself on Burpee’s website before noon had even rolled around today.

I have an acre at my disposal now.

Money is getting very tight.

I have a buttload of canning jars and more at my disposal.

Seed porn.

It’s my grandmother’s fault. I know my grandmother loved me, because we lived on something like 1/6th of an acre, her garden consisted of two small strips along the back of her house and the back of her yard, and she would let me grow whatever I asked. She gave up valuable space to me the year of the Potato Experiment. We did three peanut plants one year.

Knowing my own feelings about garden space, I know I was deeply loved.

I started surveying for vegetables before we even closed on this house. I was looking at the trees and house and where the shade falls now, watching where the sun set, judging where it rises, figuring where it will be in the spring and summer, and figuring out where to put what.

Every day I watch the windows. I now know, unfortunately, that my seeds will have to be started in Jonas’s bedroom. Or behind the sofa. Behind the sofa might actually work out better, as the sofa could work as a barrier against infant and toddler meddling.

I need to get my hands in the dirt.

Today as I surfed around looking at seeds and made my list I had to make sure I purchased only those vegetables that 100% of the members of this household will eat. Even with the acre space is tight. A large portion of the yard is full of hardwoods and, you know, bathtubs and things, so actual usable space is limited. Especially since Rich would prefer that I not make use of the front yard.

This is unfortunate, as the front yard would require far less tilling. It’s his back though. Go to it, honey.

The very first item I clicked was Silver Queen corn. A few years back I tried to grow corn in containers to see what would happen. We punched holes in five gallon buckets and started them in the driveway. We chose the driveway to keep them away from the rabid packs of deer that roamed the neighborhood eating my hostas. And my bell peppers. And the single tomato that fruited two summers ago during the drought. Corn in Bukkits was not a complete failure, and I’ll tell you why: the plants themselves made it to about 5 feet tall, and we got two tiny ears of corn out of them before the stalks got snapped down during a storm. I know some folks wouldn’t consider that successful gardening, but to me it was smashing. You CAN, regardless of output or size, grow corn in containers. And in the beds of dirty pickup trucks. But that’s another story for another time.

Ticking off the list of husband and toddler approved foods that would survive the freezing or canning process I next realized we’d need green beans.

I haven’t grown beans in years. Ok, decades. I have insanely fond memories of snapping beans with my Grandmom on the back stoop of the house. She’d pick them, bring them to me for stringing and snapping, and into the bowl they would go.

What toddler would be able to resist snapping green beans, right? Plus, it’s good for hand strengthening. I decided on Blue Lake bush beans this year, keeping the whole space issue in mind. As I entered “quantity- 1″ into the little box I started to question the size of our chest freezer.

I’m going for broccoli this year. Livvie is all over broccoli, and we go through a lot of it. I have never, ever grown broccoli. I chose one with a short maturity to see how it does in the yard. If it tanks I’ll turn the space over to something else. I didn’t like broccoli, at all, until about a year and a half ago. I forced myself to eat it as an adult because I know it’s good for me. We started eating more of it as Livvie began really eating because it’s even better for her. I do not want to pass my food aversions to my kid. She adored it, and she kept asking for it. Over the past year or so I’ve begun to love the hell-vegetable, and I have a faboo recipe for a sausage and broccoli penne if anyone wants it.

So. Broccoli. Check.

Walked away from the computer to go outside and re-survey the situation. Glanced at the freezer on the way past. Averted gaze.

When I came back inside I muttered, “Fuck, cucumbers.” PLEASE notice that comma. I know that comma isn’t going to protect me from nasty keyword searches, but I want you to know I’m in no way advocating the practice.

I thought about the cucumber situation, and I realized I’d need pickling cukes. I also realized I’d need the bush plants for space, and that I’d have to grow them in among the corn. Livvie likes cucumbers, but she prefers pickles. She specifically likes the really strong, garlic dills. Rich doesn’t eat many of them, and I mainly use them for Tabouli each summer. If I peel a pickling cuke I can stick it in Tabouli. No one has ever told me otherwise. After I put a “1″ in the cucumber box I went back to the box of canning jars, peeked inside, and determined that a whole bunch of folks will be receiving cucumbers this year. Possibly by mail.

I decided to grow lettuce SPECIFICALLY for taco night. If that’s sad, well, screw off. If I told you how many times I’ve gone to make tacos and realized we had no lettuce I’m sure you’d understand. I went with romaine as a compromise, because Rich is an iceberg kinda person, and I’m usually not. He’ll eat romaine. I’ve seen him do it. Romaine would work perfectly well on tacos. The best part was that they had compact, space saving romaine plants that grow heads sized for about two salads. That is a brilliant idea. If I never, ever have to throw away a wet, squidgy, brown head of lettuce again it’ll be too soon. So far Livvie likes the idea of lettuce better than the food itself, but that opinion is based on iceberg. We’ll see what happens with the Micro-Romaines. I’m looking very forward to this. I’ve also made note of the fact that we have seen no bunnies. Yet.

I ordered bell peppers. I have yet, in the state of North Carolina, to raise a bell pepper to a size worth picking. I ordered them this year because the kid and the dog could eat them all day, every day, and I make massive amounts of chili. The reason I make massive amounts of chili is because we’re kind of in a state of penury, and if I make a pot of chili on Monday night we have meals for an entire week. Chili on the first night, baked potatoes smothered in chili and cheese on night two, chili over spaghetti on night three…

It does get a bit physically uncomfortable after a week, but it keeps us fed.

We have jays in this yard, so I’m not even sure the peppers and tomatoes will make it. Wish us luck, please.

I never start tomatoes from seed. I tried a few times but was unhappy with the result. This year I’ll be getting my tomato plants from Wild Onion Farms. I haven’t yet decided which varieties to get. The single, most important consideration is the Tomato Sammich. I need something large enough for one slice to cover a slice of bread, and there are a few offered that could handle that.

God I want a tomato sammich. Right now. I don’t buy tomatoes in the winter. I used to make do in the winter by purchasing Romas, but even those are all orangey-pink and unripe these days. Hot house tomatoes just plain suck. What is that crap anyway? That spongy, thick, oddly textured crap they try to pass off as tomato flesh? I’ve poked it. It doesn’t move.

Not eating it.

So, is that enough to get your motors revved too? Are you madly clicking on the seed sites right now? I’m going to be throwing some more stuff into our new garden, but since this post was already picture heavy I figured I’d give you all a break to go smoke or wipe your monitors down or something.

Plus it’s now 230am, I made myself hungry, and I do not in fact have the ingredients on hand for the sausage and broccoli penne.

Blast.

EDIT- By request I am adding the recipe for the Sausage and Broccoli Penne.

2 ounce(s) whole wheat penne pasta
1 large bunch broccoli, cut into florets
12 ounce(s) hot Italian turkey sausage (we actually use smoked sausage so Livvie can eat it too, and it is AWESOME)
1 pint(s) grape tomatoes, each cut in half
1/2 cup(s) (loosely packed) fresh basil leaves, chopped
1/4 cup(s) freshly grated Pecorino Romano cheese

1.
Heat large saucepot of salted water to boiling on high. Add pasta and cook as label directs, adding broccoli when 3 minutes of cooking time remain. Reserve 1/2 cup cooking water; drain pasta and broccoli.
2.
Meanwhile, thinly slice sausage on the diagonal. In 12-inch nonstick skillet, cook sausage on medium 7 to 8 minutes or until it begins to brown, stirring occasionally. Add tomatoes and cook 5 minutes longer, stirring.
3.
Stir pasta, broccoli, and 1/4 cup pasta cooking water into sausage mixture in skillet; heat through, adding additional cooking water if needed. Remove from heat; stir in basil and cheese.