Are You Gonna Eat That?

A loooong time ago I wrote a blog piece about my husband and how much joy I get out of the fact that he knows how to Do Things. He’s capable. He’s more than capable. In that post I mentioned how nice it was to see him all sweaty and shirtless after doing manual labor. Hey, I like looking at men after they exert themselves. In that post I was discussing competent men in general, and I mentioned Mike Rowe. I did not mention Mike Rowe Shirtless.

Didn’t matter.

I’m still getting visitors to that post who are searching for images of Mike Rowe shirtless. I’d say it’s pitiful, but some of them actually stop to read for a spell. Mr. Wendig had a fabulous post recently about the chaos in his blog stats caused by his discussing Abby in NCIS in one of his previous posts. He ran with it in a most delightful way.

So I’m about to turn into a whore of the most slatternly kind.

Was that redundant?

Whatevs, folks. I’m hepped up on goofballs here because Percocet is useless crap.

And my daughter just peed all over the floor.

A couple of weeks back I wrote a snarky post about Bones and how I feel things will pan out this season. I happened to mention that TJ Thyne needs to be shirtless at least once per episode.

Well goldang.

I’ll admit that Coyote and I have tiny crushes on him, and that he does have a fine specimen of a chest, but monkeys on a cupcake I had no idea he had this kind of fan base. So far the searches that landed people here have been fairly innocuous. Mostly his name or “TJ Thyne Shirtless,” which my goodness, well, I had searched that image to illustrate a point. I’m thinking some chicks out there have more nefarious plans in mind for that pic.

Ick.

So I’m gonna just go ahead and oblige.

Should I start with the shirtless photo? No. I think I’m going to go ahead and show you TJ Thyne’s Eyes, because they’re a rather lovely shade of blue. They’re bluer than my husband’s, but I prefer my husband’s. My husband’s happen to be attached to a real human man (not that TJ Thyne Isn’t Human) that I’m in a real human relationship with. Preposition intended. Is TJ in a relationship with anyone? I don’t even feel like googling to find out. As I said, it’s a tiny crush, he has a nice smile, but I don’t really spend too much time thinking about the guy.

Bigger fish to fry.

Not that TJ Thyne Is a Fish.

I can also offer you a photo of TJ Thyne’s Forearms. I’m a big fan of forearm porn, and no, that doesn’t mean what you think it means, you gutter dwelling gum wrappers. Strong, well defined  forearms on a man are a major plus in my book. It’s that whole competence thing. For all I know TJ Thyne might be competent with no more than his texting thumb, but he does have nice arms to look at. Pretty good tendons showing in his hands too. Nice hands also equal a plus. Nice hands don’t have to be big. They just need to look like they can get the job done. Any job. Gum wrappers.

So now I can give you the goodies. In scrolling around Google Images I didn’t find too much to excite me, really, because TJ Thyne Looks Uncomfortable in Photo Shoots. He looks like he’d rather be using his current toothbrush to clean pocket lint off of a wet urinal cake, to be honest. The only shirtless photo I found is a screen shot. It’s dark. He has the Bad Hair. There’s another semi-naked man behind him wearing only towels. TJ Thyne’s Towel is as low as it can go. TJ Thyne is Wet. Shiny. TJ Thyne’s Six Pack looks like a wee rat could run a maze through it. As long as someone was thoughtful enough to place Cheese at one end.

Ok, yeah. It’s sort of nice.

I like cheese.

Mr. Thyne, if you’re reading this, I’d like to thank you for being a good sport. Your peeps were WAY more fun to pick on than, say, whoever found me through “two foxes stuck together,” “vibrating underpants,” “two person underpants,” “screensaver glob of fake fat,” “sucked up face,” and “cucumbers.”

“Brisco County” can stay.