Half of What We Take to be Miracles

are the Universe being a wiseass.

The other day while Rich was in heavy grief he was over at the other house, and Livvie and I worked on getting a seed tray planted. She had a blast. I filled the tray with a peat moss seed starting soil, and I pushed little holes into each cell. Seventy-two of them. I handed her the seeds, she placed them in each hole, and I covered them and misted everything down. Then I added some water to the under-tray and placed the lid on.

Oh it’s funny now, with the passage of a few days and a not so dreadful outcome. Wasn’t funny then.

I had placed a chintzy collapsing book case at one of our bedroom windows and put the tray there. It was temporary until Rich got home and could help me set everything where I needed it. I closed the bedroom door so the kids couldn’t get to it.

I forgot my son can channel Barry Allen.

When I carried an armful of clean laundry into the room to put it on the bed I left the door open behind me. I was going to be finished and out in about 5.6 seconds. I heard a squeal and turned to see Jonas grab the bookcase and pull it down upon himself.

The shitty thing about everything happening in slo-mo is that you move that way too.

The little jerk got lucky, and the opening between two shelves settled around him. He laughed. Once I determined he was not in pieces I did not laugh. The seed tray had hit the floor and dumped peat, seeds and brown water all over our fairly new carpet. Crappy, thin-ass carpet? Yeah. It still looked halfway decent, though.

I hustled both kids from the room, shut the door so I could clean up, and thirty seconds later heard, “Daddy’s home!”

Well, fuck.

After about 45 minutes of trying anything I could think of to clean up the mess I had to give up. I took what was left of the seed tray and tossed it onto the washing machine in the laundry room. I was pissed, hurt, and upset. Livvie and I had had such a good time with it. The seeds I had purchased were in the canister of the vacuum cleaner. The stain on the carpet was gigantic. Dark. Ugly. After 5 days of air drying and vacuuming it’s still bad enough to drive someone with OCD fairly bugshit.

I ignored the tray and decided that my next trip out I’d grab some cheap seeds to replace what was lost, mostly bell peppers and cucumbers, and use what was left of the bag of peat mix to start over when I could handle it.

Today at Target Livvie and I got some packs of seeds, and when we had some downtime before dinner I went into the laundry room and lifted the seed tray from the washer.

I saw seedlings.

Sumbitch.

No light, no water, dry as a bone peat mix sprouted itself some seeds.

Ha ha, Universe. Ha.

The peppers were totally gone, but there were three cucumber plants sprouting and three pumpkin plants as well.

The beans hadn’t bothered yet, because they’re hard shelled and not as snotty about pushing irony in your face.

We refilled the empty holes, replanted, watered everything, and set it all up in the guest room with the door shut.

I get it. I do. I really don’t need anymore smacks upside the head, thankyewverymuch.

Happy Almost Spring, Y’all.

I’m off to manage my migraine. Until manana…