My Back (an update of sorts) « Are You Gonna Eat That?

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My Back (an update of sorts)

July 27, 2010 by Julie

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The experience I had with this medication stemmed from the fact that I had an infant who required constant lifting, a toddler who required constant play, and a houseful of chores that needed doing by me. When the injury was new and the pain was so bad (often my legs and feet would even go numb) I couldn’t be a mother. At all. My husband was (and often still is) working 70 hours a week so he won’t lose his job, and I have no help while he’s working. The only way I could function to the best of my ability was to trick my body into believing there was no pain. Apparently, based on what I’ve seen in my MRI and what the surgeon told me, the original injury is most likely healed at this point. I probably will have arthritic pain in that area forever, on and off, but the actual rupture should have healed by now since it’s in the thoracic region. So I got to thinking about how those drugs work, and how the brain responds to them. And I knew that there were days when I would not take the prescribed dose and be fine, and then there were days when even taking the prescribed dose I would hurt all day. One thing I did- if I didn’t feel a horrible amount of pain I wouldn’t take as many as were prescribed since I didn’t “need” them.

But then the next day the pain would be astronomical.

So I realized my brain was screwing with me to get more drugs.

And I started cutting back.

I started breaking the 10/500s in half, and then I called the doc and asked for 5/500s. Then I started cutting those in half, and then called and asked for 2.5 500s. Then I started cutting those in half.

And what I’ve noticed is that the less I take, the less pain I feel on a constant level. I have waves of pain, but that’s my brain wanting me to dope it. So I tell it to shut up, and I offer it Advil or Aleve.

It’s not happy right now, but I’ve gone from not being able to get out of bed in the morning without using nearby furniture to help me walk, to as of the past couple of days when I got out of bed I didn’t feel pain severe enough to take anything until a couple of hours had passed.

On the pain scale I had often been hitting 9 or even 9.5 occasionally, wanting to call Kervorkian, but this morning, unmedicated even with Advil, I’d say I’m at a 3 or 4.

My husband reminds me constantly that I am stronger than my brain chemistry. He’s right, I am.

Posted in Home, Pain, luck, meds | 4 Comments

4 Responses

on July 27, 2010 at 8:37 am | Reply squirrelgirl

Wow. Excellent. You are truly a strong woman for recognizing your brain’s deception before it got too out of hand. Glad to hear the rupture is healed and wishing you ongoing strength to keep the chronic pain manageable without giving into the brain’s pleas.
- on July 29, 2010 at 6:16 am | Reply Julie
  
  Thank you, lady. I’m getting annoyed by the RLS every night, but I hope it goes away soon.
on July 27, 2010 at 4:52 pm | Reply Naomi Johnson

You are one tough customer. If I were your brain I wouldn’t mess with you.
- on July 29, 2010 at 6:16 am | Reply Julie
  
  Thanks! My brain should know better by now.